We have all heard it...I am paying for the wedding so you need to do it my way.  Wow...talk about a difficult position to be in as a bride and as a wedding planner. 

It all goes back to communication.  As soon as you get engaged you need to sit down with both sides of the family and find out who is paying for what.  And then find out if there are any restrictions that go with those items.

For example - You father and I would love to pay for the florals -- but since we are paying we only want red roses and I will call the florist and wedding planner and arrange it all for you. 

A scenario like that is probably not what you had envisioned.  You have been carefully pinning away on Pinterest, have a book of ideas that you have been saving since Kindergarten and have watched every episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  Red Roses everywhere doesn't match any of that.

It's time to have some tough conversations.  Speak up in a polite way and thank your family for offering to pay for the wedding, but mention that there ideas don't necessarily match your own.  

If that doesn't work for everyone, find a way to pay for things on your own...that may mean a smaller wedding, but you will have control.

We understand that family politics can cause stress during wedding planning and that's no fun for anyone.  This is supposed to be a time of celebration and joy.

Our wedding planning contract states very clearly that we "take direction from the bride only, no matter who is paying for items in the wedding."  So if your mom, or future mother-in-law call us and ask us to do something that we haven't discussed with you, our response will be "we need to talk to ____bride about this as she is our point of contact, have you discussed this with her yet?"  Then we will reach out to you and get approval or let you know that a difficult conversation is headed your way.

The key is remembering keeping the lines of communication open, remembering why this wedding is happening and finding the joy in the celebration.  And you can always call us to vent or ask how to handle a sticky situation.  We have seen it all!