Posts with tag: "mother"
Why We Only Take Direction from the Bride
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
By Fabuluxe Events
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We have all heard it...I am paying for the wedding so you need to do it my way.  Wow...talk about a difficult position to be in as a bride and as a wedding planner. 

It all goes back to communication.  As soon as you get engaged you need to sit down with both sides of the family and find out who is paying for what.  And then find out if there are any restrictions that go with those items.

For example - You father and I would love to pay for the florals -- but since we are paying we only want red roses and I will call the florist and wedding planner and arrange it all for you. 

A scenario like that is probably not what you had envisioned.  You have been carefully pinning away on Pinterest, have a book of ideas that you have been saving since Kindergarten and have watched every episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  Red Roses everywhere doesn't match any of that.

It's time to have some tough conversations.  Speak up in a polite way and thank your family for offering to pay for the wedding, but mention that there ideas don't necessarily match your own.  

If that doesn't work for everyone, find a way to pay for things on your own...that may mean a smaller wedding, but you will have control.

We understand that family politics can cause stress during wedding planning and that's no fun for anyone.  This is supposed to be a time of celebration and joy.

Our wedding planning contract states very clearly that we "take direction from the bride only, no matter who is paying for items in the wedding."  So if your mom, or future mother-in-law call us and ask us to do something that we haven't discussed with you, our response will be "we need to talk to ____bride about this as she is our point of contact, have you discussed this with her yet?"  Then we will reach out to you and get approval or let you know that a difficult conversation is headed your way.

The key is remembering keeping the lines of communication open, remembering why this wedding is happening and finding the joy in the celebration.  And you can always call us to vent or ask how to handle a sticky situation.  We have seen it all!

Tags: wedding planning, wedding planner, bride, palm beach, mother, mother in law, fort lauderdale, broward, groom, wedding budget
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Navigating the Mother/Daughter Waters While Planning a Wedding
Thursday, October 18, 2012
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Hey everyone,  Are you having a great week?  We are!  We had another amazing wedding last weekend.  Watch for photos!  This week is a week off for us.  We are celebrating my son's birthday by taking him and 4 other boys overnight camping on Saturday. It will be interesting to say the least.  Next week we are looking forward to Liz and Brendan's specactular wedding!

Today we are talking about the role of the Mother of the Bride.  I know that the mother/daughter relationship can get complicated, emotional and stressful whileplanning a wedding.  I have to give a huge shoutout to my Mom who was amazing during the process of planning my wedding.

Here are a few tips to help you navigate these waters.

1.  Mom, remember that this your daughter's wedding, not a do-over of your wedding.  While that may sound harsh, it is something to always remember.

2. Even if mom and dad are paying for the wedding, many vendors have clauses in their contracts that state they will only take direction from the bride and groom.  

3.  Sit down and have an honest conversation with mom, dad and the future inlaws.  Talk about budget, who is paying for each item and what everyone's expectations are as far as involvement in the planning process.

4.  Articulate your ideas for your dream wedding.  Show Mom lots of pictures, have brainstorming sessions.  But remember that the final decision should be the bride's and not anyone else's.

5.  Brides let mom know how much your appreciate her input.  Thank her for listening to your ideas and thank her for her input and help.

6.  Mom, if you really are into food, ask to be involved with planning the menus and go on tastings.  If mom really loves flowers be sure to include her in the floral design.

7.  If Mom, the bride and future mother-in-law don't live near each other go high tech in order to include them.  Skype and show them things on video chat that you have purchased, are thinking about, etc.  Set up a wedding blog (tools like blogger and wordpress are free and easy to navigate).  Plan a weekly or bi-weekly call to talk about everything that is going on with the wedding.

8.  Make sure that all contanct with wedding professionals comes from the bride.  It can cause stress and confusion when we are getting direction from the bride, mom and mother-in-law.  

9.  Remember that you Mom and Bride may not always agree but that this is the bride's day.

10.  Talk about bridal showers and pre-wedding events in the beginning of the process and decide who is handling them so that events are not scheduled too close together or end up competing with each other.

Planning a wedding should be fun and joyful.  It is a celebration of the love of the couple and the joining of two families.  Please don't let wedding stress cause any stress, rifts or drama in your family while planning this amazing day.

 

Have a wondeful weekend!
Jen, Mandi and Amelia
561-254-2041
Jennifer@fabuluxeevents.com
www.fabuluxeevents.com
















Tags: wedding planning, wedding, wedding professionals, budget, bride, mother, mother of the bride, mother in law
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